Saturday, September 5, 2009

Promises, Promises

Have you ever felt, in your life, that there are certain promises that never seem to be fulfilled? I mean, have you experienced the same promise, from different promisors, that somehow is broken over and over? In my life there has been three such promises, repeated, by many, mostly men.

Promise Number One: "One day I will teach you how to drive a stick shift." If I had a dollar every time someone said this to me....I would have some cash for a nice meal, with wine. Pretty much every boyfriend I have ever had has offered this up, casually, when somehow the fact that I can't drive a stick comes to light. It usually goes something like this:

Them- "Really? You can't drive a stick?'
Me- "Really. I can't drive a stick."
Them- "Oh, I'll teach you. All we need is an afternoon, a stick-shift and a parking lot. It's easy."
Me (the first 20 times I heard this)- "Really? That would be awesome! Thanks!"
Me (after hearing this to no avail the first 20 times)- "Sure. That's what everyone says."

My male and female friends have also been known to throw out this hollow promise, as has my father, who recently exclaimed, while we were on a family holiday in Italy, "What? You can't drive a stick?" This, from the man who has been offering up his stick-shift driving lessons since I was 16 and I am still waiting!

I guess the moral of this should be, hire someone to teach me. There are driving schools. I am an adult with a brain that functions moderately well. Why have I not done this yet?

OK, OK, on to Promise Number Two: "I'll teach you how to play Chess." Again, as a variation on a theme, this promise from countless lovers and friends and, again, my father. How did I somehow miss the Chess boat? I was a bright kid. I attended a freaking Rubik's Cube Convention! Again, I know, as an adult, with a moderately functioning brain, I could avail myself to online Chess tutorials, at the very least, couldn't I?

Promise Number 3: The Opera. I love opera music, not all opera, but enough that I have long desired to attend an opera. I find it to be incredibly romantic. Again, the usual suspects have offered up the old "You want to go to the Opera and have never been? Well, I'll take you one day." Sigh. Yes, I know I could take myself to the Opera, but that really doesn't complete the fantasy inside my head, of being surprised by the unselfish gesture of being taken somewhere you want to go, by someone who wants to take you there, despite their own lack of desire to go there.

The bottom line of this trio is that, as easy as it should be for me to fulfill them all on my own, it sure would be nice if someone followed through. It would certainly make me smile and really, isn't that what we all want? I surely cannot be the only person who has experienced this sort of repeat loop in their life! Can I?


Lady Ashley said...

I too have been a victim to the empty promise #1, much more times than I can count. It is something in the hormones of the male body that thinks teaching a girl to drive a stick is very sexy and somehow romantic. Unfortunately men are lazy and once they have you on their radar, it's over. No more romantic dates, no more looking at the stars on a mountain top, no more fufilling of promises like operas, and stick shifts. good luck!

Ben Grieme: SCRAPS said...

1.) You find a car with a stick shift in NY and I'll teach you to drive it. Its easy, just takes a little learning and you have to make a promise to me that you won't rip my head off in the process.

2.) I'm waiting for someone to teach me chess myself.

3.) I don't like the Opera enough to walk by the Opera House. Matter of fact, I like it so little that I wrote Oprah first and had to go back and change it.

erin said...

Ashley, I see you feel my pain!

erin said...

Ben, I will take you up on #1. Maybe we can search for #2 together and as for #3, I guess I'm on my own for that one!