Saturday, October 10, 2009

Ask Erin!- EW & "A Concerned Friend"

Welcome to the latest installment of Ask Erin!

The first question today comes from EW:
Dear Erin,
I saw something interesting yesterday. What do you think about a hearse getting a flat tire during a procession on I-95? Pretty loaded. At least four limousines and a 1/2 mile of cars, pulled over, waiting for the flat to be fixed on the hearse. Someone wasn't ready to be

Dear EW,
I have a few theories.

1.The deceased is claustrophobic and/or has a fear of being buried. Perhaps they would have preferred cremation. Perhaps they do not like where they are being buried.

2.There is a loved one who is not ready to bury the deceased. They are psychically prolonging the inevitable.

3. There is some other dead dude that does not want this newly departed buried next to them.

4. The hearse driver from the mortuary is a necrophiliac that slashed his own tires, in a lame attempt at having those last few moments of alone time with the corpse, while the flat was being fixed.

(speaking of necrophilia)

Question #2:

Dear RWE
My friend's husband is now dating a total skank. So out of her league. I told her she should feel good about it. He can't get better than her, She feels sorry for the poor bastard. What do you think?
A Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend,
I think that some men like skanks. They feel less skanky themselves when they surround themselves with other skanks. She shouldn't feel sorry for him, because, well, he is getting laid. Your friend should get a divorce and start dating hot young dudes.

If you would like to submit a question for the next Ask Erin!, email me:

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