Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sea of Teeth

I have been spending a lot of time at the dentist lately. Now, had I actually properly attended to my incisors, and cuspids and bi-cuspids, then perhaps I could have spread the torture out, more humanely over the years. I haven't neglected them entirely, but I have not given them the respect they, apparently, demand. Teeth have been on my mind and I have a few thoughts:

1. Do you think that dentists and/or dental hygienists become so grossed out after looking at so many janky teeth all day, that they cannot fathom the thought of kissing someone, of actually sticking their tongue into someone else's potentially plaque-infested mouth and feeling around in there? Knowing what one would know as a dentist or hygienist, having access to dental equipment, and driven by the fear of transferring bacteria from one mouth to the other, do you suppose they take their dates in for a quick once-over, a cleaning in the office, before they go any further? I am neither a dentist nor a hygienist, but I am seriously considering making this a prerequisite for all future potential suitors. After viewing the inside of my mouth, with a little camera.....I can't really go back.

2. All of the above being said....I love some fucked up teeth....on anyone else but me. A gap, a fang, a chip- BRING IT!

3. When I am really stressed out, I have dreams of losing my teeth or a tooth. Does this happen to anyone else?

4. Dentistry is soooooo expensive! Damn, can we please find a way to remedy this???

5. I like the imagery of teeth used in art, song, books etc.

6. Remember that movie that came out, called Teeth, that was about a girl who had evil teeth in her vagina? I did not see it, but if you have let me know.

Alright, enough about teeth. Enjoy some good music. (and yes, I found a way to slip in a pic of Lil Wayne's teeth)


Anonymous said...

The old dream interpretation books of yore (you have no idea how long I've wanted to legitimately use the word "yore" in a sentence!) all say that dreaming of losing your teeth means that there will be a substantial financial loss in your life. Ultimately, teeth (particularly in ye olde times) were inextricably linked to survival. No teeth = no eat = no live! Was that enlightening at all? ;-)

Ben Grieme: SCRAPS said...

was waiting for this post.

erin said...

Yes, very enlightening- of course losing teeth is linked to financial loss- IT"S SO DAMN EXPENSIVE to get them fixed! hahahahaha

....and Ben, you have me all figured out don't you?!

cougs said...

i've seen teeth. it's been awhile but the premise is when someone sexually takes advantage of her, her va-jay-jay goes into action. vagina dentata is common theme in myths and folklore of some cultures - at least that's what wikipedia says on the subject. the main character can have normal sex if it's consensual and the person is treating her respect but if not - watch out! i liked the movie.

on the subject on dental costs - it's insane. i have to have major work done but can't so the problem increases.

love your blog!

Anonymous said...

you should get your teeth removed. it will help you be a bugger slut.

erin said...

Thanks Cougs!

Anonymous, you've gotta start coming up with better insults.

Anonymous said...

What's a "bugger slut"?


erin said...

Well, I looked up the exact definition of "bugger":

1. Vulgar Slang A sodomite.
2. Slang A contemptible or disreputable person.
3. Slang A fellow; a chap

Perhaps Anonymous is clever, or, more likely, a poor speller.