Monday, December 21, 2009
Ask Erin!- Holiday Edition
I realize that after my last post, you may be wondering why you would take advice from the likes of me! Well, as I have said before, I have undoubtedly made many many mistakes.....but I have learned from them! OK on to the questions.
i have just started dating someone. do i get them a christmas present, even though it has only been a few weeks? if so, how much do i spend? what the hell do i get them?
Yes, if you like this person, then a gift is appropriate. I don't think it is appropriate to go overboard. Give him or her a book you love or a make a mix CD. If you are crafty- make something- I swear it will go over well, and make you both feel 14 again. Outside of those options, I say go to one of your favorite shops, look around and if you see something that reminds you of that person, well, bingo! Happy Holidays!
I seem to have found myself in a situation that normally wouldn't be a big deal, but for some reason (perhaps because I'm living in a different country for an undefined amount of time) I cannot make a decision. I've been dating a local casually for about a month now. I like him well enough, but part of me thinks that the only reason why I'm dating him is because he's hot and I can practice the language, not because we have anything in common. It's also difficult keeping things casual because of the differences in dating culture here (or lack thereof). The complication is a guy I know from school. We've engaged in a mild flirtation since the semester began, although ultimately I dismissed it as just a friendship. Recently he told a friend of mine that he's interested in more, although he's working through some personal issues.
My question is this: Do I continue having a good time improving my conversation skills with the sweet, local guy who's totally into me (even though I know it's not going anywhere) OR do I try to make something happened with the friend and potentially ruin a friendship (and/or end up dating another emotionally unavailable, undemonstrative, psychologically effed up American)?
Yes, I'm aware this is very high school but your keen insight would be much appreciated!
(and feel free to edit this down to a manageable size if you end up posting it)
Dear Pain Perdu,
Here's the bottom line. It's okay to date both of them, as long as you are being honest. If you had not mentioned the American's potential emotional unavailability ("personal issues"), then I would have told you to end it with the handsome etranger and go for the one you actually might have a future with. But, these pesky American fellows often come with some emotional baggage. (This response is slightly delayed, so things may have changed since you wrote this.) I think that there is nothing wrong with feeling out the situation with the friend, just don't put all you eggs in that basket, at least not yet. After all, a lot can be said for having fun in a foreign country and that's what I hope you will do, with either! Please do keep me posted on your adventures!!
Friends, enemies, frenemies....email me your questions for the next Ask Erin! firstname.lastname@example.org (and fret not, I will keep you as anonymous as you like)