I am trapped. My bf and I broke up last month and we shared the same group of friends. Now, I feel like I have no one. I just can't bear to hear about him or hang out with people who remind me. Suggestions?
It is quite common to be feeling this way after a breakup. If you've been with someone for a considerable length of time, then you're bound to have a bit of an identity crisis afterwards, particularly in the realm of mutual friendships.
Here's the thing- it won't feel like this forever. Don't throw your friends away, but focus on the ones you are closest to, and let them know that you don't want to hear about your ex, what he's up to, etc. Any decent friend will understand and accept that.
Also, it's time to do the things that you didn't do when you were in the relationship. Take a ballet class, learn another language, make a new friend, train for a marathon, start a book club, do something you've never done or have neglected doing. It will open up your world in a healthy way and expand your horizons beyond the social group that you shared with the bf.
Do something nice for yourself every day.
Dear Stuck in the Mud,
No, I don't think you are having a mid-life crisis, but you are having a just-entered-my 30s-what-the-hell-am-I-doing-with-my-life crisis! Ok, so your job is clearly making you miserable. You gotta get out.
Are these other opportunities really dead ends? Any way to negotiate the salary or commit to the commute for the sake of your sanity?
Or better yet, visualize exactly what it is you want. Write it down- what your ideal work situation would be...salary, colleagues, proximity to house. Be as specific as possible. Manifest what you want. I fully believe that we can and do accomplish this.
Let me know how this works for you!
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