Friday, October 18, 2013

Well, you asked....


We've all been in that situation- out, in the world, around lots of people, and that stranger, at the table next to you or across the subway aisle or walking down the street, is loudly discussing personal information, either with a real live human, or nameless faceless person on the phone. 

This stranger is usually a woman and she is, more often than not, talking about a man, a man she is involved with, or used to be involved with, or wants to be involved with. This person, usually a woman, often asks questions. I would venture that 99% of the time she asks questions that she doesn't really want answered. 

Here are some examples I have heard recently in and around the streets of NYC.(I've started taking notes.)-



  • "I know that there's this bond between us. I think he's just scared. Do you think I should send him a friendly text?"
  • "Yeah, he says that they've broken up for like a month. But then, Sarah told me that they're still sleeping together. So, I don't really know. I mean, he doesn't have a reason to lie to me, so...Do you think he's lying?"
  • "He wants me to get an abortion but I just like can't do that." 
  • "I fucking hate that girl. She's so obnoxious. And I see her EVERY DAY! (friend's response- Yeah. Well, sometimes she can be cool. But, I don't have to see her every day) Yeah, well she's really fucking annoying and I don't get how like Josh is totally oblivious to what a cunt she is."
  and my personal favorite...

  • "I just want to be friends with him. It's cool. I'm over what happened. I don't understand why he just can't be normal with me. " (This was preceded by 4 subway stops worth of talking about how she wants him back.)
It takes everything in me not to chime in. WTF ladies? Didn't you learn anything from the whole He's just not that into you pop culture moment? 

And why are you always talking about how any girl that gets attention is a bitch? 

I realize that these strangers' problems are none of my business. On the other hand, you kinda make them public domain when you talk so loudly that everyone on the A train can hear you, even over the bongo guys. 

But I keep my mouth shut. And silently judge you. 


Then there are the times when you are the real live human or nameless faceless person on the phone. And that stranger is your friend. And that friend, usually a woman, is asking you questions she doesn't want answered. And then I find myself doing the "let me break the bad news to you softly" dance. But that rarely works. So sometimes you have to just hit said friend over the head with the truth. 

  • "HE'S NOT INTERESTED. MOVE ON." 
  • "NO, SHE'S NOT A SLUT. SHE'S ACTUALLY A REALLY NICE PERSON. AND YES, I DO THINK SHE'S PRETTY." 
  • "IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO CLINGY."
  • "NO, THAT DRESS IS NOT FLATTERING."
(clearly I am yelling out the above responses)



My point is this- well I have 2 points. 

  1. Don't talk so loud and so much, in public, around other people, who are not deaf. We will all be silently judging you. 
  2. Stop asking questions or sorting through your emotional baggage with your friends if you don't wan't to hear the truth. 
  3. And yes, I have a 3rd point- Whatever you do- don't sort through your emotional baggage with a man who has seen you naked or with whom you have hopes of seeing you naked. 




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

so good and so true!

philip said...

I have experienced this in restaurants. It's hard to concentrate when the people next to you are spilling their guts for everyone to hear!