Thursday, November 14, 2013

A new DSM code?

A few days ago, I heard from an old friend, an old boyfriend, well, actually my first boyfriend. He emailed to check in, which he has been known to do every few years. 

It was all light and friendly and then he says this- "I think you're personality is like halfway between Eazy-E and Sylvia Plath and maybe that's what's been wrong with you all these years." (I'll put aside the discussion that a 40-something year old man just used "like" that way in a written sentence.)

Now, I am well aware of my shortcomings, as I am sure you are, too (of mine that is, because I'm a narcissist, remember- you only live to judge me). But, what kind of an f-u is that to drop on someone you haven't seen in a decade and haven't spoken to in a few years?!

Don't get me wrong, I love Eazy-E and Sylvia P. as much as the next misanthrope, but I don't know if I long to be compared to their personalities! (I am unapologetic about my use/misuse/overuse of punctuation in this post, by the way!!!)

Then, I thought about it a little bit. And I wondered if maybe he was right. 

Am I stuck between

"Cause I'm the E, I don't slang or bang
I just smoke motherfuckers like it ain't no thang
And all you bitches, you know I'm talkin to you
"We want to fuck you Eazy!" I want to fuck you too"


"If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days." 

????? (there goes that punctuation abuse again)

I think you can figure out who said what. 

As for the email, I have yet to reply, because I have not been clever enough to come up with a good one. 

*[For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about- the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) is what psychs use to diagnose personality/mood/mental/behavioral  disorders.] 


Anonymous said...

I love Easy E, I love Sylvia P and I love Mult-E. Tell him he should be so lucky to have ever been with someone with such exceptionally qualities. Obviously he agrees or he would have had no need to reach out to you after a decade.

Anonymous said...

You seem more like a cross between Namcy Spungen and Heidi Fleiss.

erin said...

Anonymous #1, I love you too.
Anonymous #2, Namcy?