So, I used to answer questions on the blog. And, I was good at keeping up with those Ask Erin! installments (feel free to peruse for amusement/disdain for me), for awhile, and then the questions started to pile up/I got a little lazy and distracted/I am just a little janky.
Then, last week, sandwiched in between 2 "I hate you but I still read your dumb blog anyway" emails, I received a question!
I checked my old Spring.me account- and reviewed my old unanswered questions. I thought, Erin, you should answer these, too. They've been sitting there for over 2 years.
Then I thought, Erin, there's no point in answering these because whoever had these problems has undoubtedly moved on to a whole new set of problems and will not care what you think about some issue they had in 2011.
But, I digress. Here you have it, the first Ask Erin! of this year, or the year before that.
"Erin, do you think it's ok to sleep with someone on the first date if you want it to turn into a relationship?"
Dear Anonymous/Ambiguous/Gender neutral pronoun user,
Here's the bottom line- if someone, be they male or female, is in to you and open to a relationship, then sleeping with them on the first date can't really screw anything up. Ok, mom, or anyone who could potentially get mad about my sex life, stop reading this now.
I am pretty sure I've gone against every dating rule for ladies. My entire life. Which could explain some poor choices.
Regardless, every relationship I've been in began with sex, before there was a relationship (sometimes, before there was a date). Now, that does not mean I have been a big old slut (also, it's so lame to call someone a slut just because they enjoy sex, but that's another topic), it just means that I've (usually) been sure that I like someone when I slept with them, even if we hadn't technically gone out on a date yet.
a. serious Catholic guilt/shame Madonna/whore issues that you aren't going to want to deal with 6 months down the road
b. really shitty double standards
c. they wouldn't have wanted a relationship anyway, even if you had waited until the 3rd date.
So, if sleeping with someone too soon ruins everything, then you've probably done yourself a favor. However, rather than worrying about what they're thinking/feeling and getting yourself obsessed with some twisted relationship version of Risk, why don't you just make sure you really like who they are before you get naked.
Unless you're just horny. In that case, carry on. Use a condom!
As you can see, the level of advice I'm giving is fairly sub-standard. However, I am willing to keep on answering these questions with my opinions, expertise, and wisdom- harvested from years of making serious mistakes and living to tell the tale. You reap what you sow, bitch, you reap what you sow.
Should you wish to see me fumble through answering one of your very own questions- about life, love, sex, drugs, panda bears, etc.- use the contact form on the right or email me- firstname.lastname@example.org
If you ask, I promise to answer. And, of course, your anonymity is golden.