Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Do you really need an app for that?

Have you heard of Spreadsheets? It's an app. That monitors how good you are in bed. What? According to their website-

Spreadsheets is a mobile app that monitors your performance in bed to provide statistical and historical feedback. Find out how many thrusts per minute you’re averaging, how long you go for, and exactly how loud it gets. Keep a record of your encounters, date, time, and performance.

No, they don't actually record your "sessions," nor does your data get stored anywhere. 

At first I thought, Dude, if you need an app for that, you're doing it wrong. 

Then I thought, Hmmm, I wonder what would happen if I....

But what does having all of this information really get you? So, you know that you average 4 minutes, that your "Max TPM" (maximum thrusts per minute)is 100, that you haven't had sex in 6 days.... Now what? 

The app is not going to teach you how to kiss without clanging teeth, or the nuances or oral sex, or how to pay attention to your partner to make sure they are actually having an orgasm. 

Also, does a higher Max TPM indicate better sex? Um, jackrabbit anyone? No, thank you. 

So, in the end, I returned to thinking, Dude, if you need an app for that, you're doing it wrong. Also, this app seems geared towards guys who aren't getting laid and bored housewives. 

Have any of you tried this? If you have or you will, please let me know how that worked out for you. xo


thetroublewithlisa said...

ill try it out and let you know but i aint got much in the hopper right now if yano what i mean

erin said...

I knew I could count on you, Lisa!! xoxo

Anonymous said...

i bet you suck in bed