Friday, February 21, 2014

Dear Dudes, Can you please stop talking about Lena Dunham in a bikini?

Spoiler alert: Last Sunday's episode of Girls featured Lena Dunham sporting a bikini through most of the show. 





Since Sunday, in my Facebook feed, I have had 7, yes SEVEN, male friends comment on/rant/complain about/tell us how grossed out they were by this.

Seriously? You are seemingly intelligent and rational. And this is what you have to say about an episode that explored very real complications that exist in ALL friendships, regardless of sex, sexual orientation, race, age, or socio-economic status?

First of all, don't watch the show. Lena Dunham is clearly, and admirably, comfortable with who she is. The fact that you're not is YOUR PROBLEM. You must know by now how the show goes. If seeing real women's bodies on the screen disturbs you, you have an easy fix. Don't watch. 


Here's the truth: When Danny McBride parades around, gut out, on Eastbound and Down, you all laugh and praise his genius. When James Gandolfini (R.I.P.)strutted his hefty stuff on The Sopranos, men loved him and women thought he was sexy. 







You like what you like, and that's fine- but that you find it interesting/word-worthy/funny to use social media to publicly rag on the way a young woman, who is probably far smarter than you, looks in a bikini is pitiful. 

And ladies, you are not off the hook either. More than half of the "friends" that chimed in on these disparaging status updates were women. And they were laughing/disparaging right along with their male compadres. 

Beauty is subjective and that's awesome because we are not all vying for the same thing. And guys, YOU HAVE NO IDEA what it's like to walk through life with a huge portion of the population assessing your entire value based on how hot you are. 

I can take a joke, I am not anti-man, I can appreciate the very different ways in which our brains operate. But, you don't get a pass on this one. 

Wether or not you like the show, it makes me happy that a young, smart, confident woman is creating something of substance based on her brain, not her booty. Maybe it's not your cup of tea. Cool, don't watch. 

But, please, do yourself a favor, and shut up. You're just making yourself look pathetic. 

Love,
Erin

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ugh. I am so glad you wrote this because I've been experiencing the same thing on FB. It just surprises me, which it probably shouldn't, that someone's non-perfect body obscures the rest of everything.

Anonymous said...

I do agree that Dunham is smarter than most, especially the negative commenters, however, she is creating something of substance based not only on her brain, but very much also about her body. She wants people to see it, and frankly, most people don't. Which leads to your "don't watch it" argument, which I agree with and have followed, I stopped watching after the first season, not because it wasn't funny, it was, but because the second season was too much naked Lena and not enough substance and laughs. That being said, Tony Soprano wasn't naked in every episode, neither was Kenny Powers, and they never "paraded" their bodies around the way Dunham does. They were both out of shape, but they never showed gratuitous amounts of skin in EVERY single episode. If there was an episode where Tony spent the entire time in his underwear doing full body screen shots, the audience would be more focused on his gut and less on the story, which is what happened to this episode of Girls. It wasn't that her body was imperfect, it was that it was unnecessary to be shown the entire time. I've been on many vacations with friends, no one, ever, spent the entire time in a bikini or bathing suit. It was unrealistic and was simply so Dunham could parade her body around. This is what has caused your facebook uproar. So before you make this a sexist issue, remember, Dunham is the feminist force feeding her audience skin, Danny McBride relied on dialogue for laughs, not nudity.

Anonymous said...

I love the show and think it is great that Dunham is making a point about bodies being unique and not being ashamed about them. She does go out of her way to find awkward viewpoints where it becomes apparent she is purposely trying to find those shots. Biggest example of it this season was the hiking episode, where she lays on the ground. The way that shot was framed was so deliberate and exposing. Maybe thats what it takes to make her point, but she is very consistent in making it.

Anonymous said...

I was soooo cold watching last night's episode that it was hard to watch. Cold, and curious why Lena, whom I love and respect, makes her lack of clothes practically a character in itself.

Anonymous said...

Those 7 guys may be dicks... what about all the people (men and women) in your facebook feed who didn't go on a rant?

The loudest voices in the room aren't always the representatives for the rest of the people in the room. And facebook filters what you see based on what gets comments and likes -- e.g. what's controversial -- and won't show you stuff like "man, that girls episode was good!"

So, I think you have a point about those 7 dudes, but I don't think it's necessary to abstract that to the entirety of "men" or "society."

Anonymous said...

SInce when did photoshop-ed women have the monopoly on nakedness in the media???

It's people's right to not be attracted to someone. If Lena's not your type, so be it.

However, Lena's body shape is, at least according to me, a very realistic body shape. Put more directly: we are ALLOWED to look like this (and many of us do). And we are allowed to be naked if we look like this. And (god forbid!) we are even allowed to feel beautiful if we look like this.

Men wonder why their grilfriends have complexes about their body, why they don't feel sexy. "Why does my girlfriend always ask me if she's pretty?! It's so annoying." Well here's your answer: because when we women finally have someone strutting around on TV with a realistic body shape who feels sexy and they finally say "okay, my body's not so weird after all!" we have to undergo seeing dozens of FB posts about how disgusting this reality is.

This is a media-created trap we are all falling in.

Anonymous said...

She IS p gross tbf. People have different tastes but I think we have a consensus on this one.

Anonymous said...

Your an idiot. She's a pig. No one wasn't to look at that. Maybe your a chubby chaser lesbo.

Anonymous said...

The only pathetic thing here is your little article. Something tells me you aren't in very good shape yourself.

Anonymous said...

You Internet trolls leaving shitty comments come across more pathetic than anything. If you don't like what she has to say, then don't read the blog! And I guarantee you she looks far better in a bikini than you do. Not that it should matter. But, you people are ignorant and dim- which is not surprising given the median IQ of people that anonymously trash others online.

Anonymous said...

Hey idiot, suggesting she's some ugly fatso- you clearly don't know what Erin looks like. I bet you're a real prize in person!