Monday, February 24, 2014


2. liberation from ignorance or illusion"

So, last Friday I posted this about my frustration over dudes (and chicks, too)complaining about Lena Dunham wearing a bikini through most of an episode of Girls. 

To be clear- my point was not to comment on how well this worked for the show or how well-written it is or debate anyone on the merit of Dunham's talent. My point was that many many people focused their criticism solely on how bad she looked in a bikini. 

This sparked lively debate on Facebook, many comments, Facebook messages, Twitter messages, and 37 emails from strangers- some of which were really nice, some of which disagreed but stated their opinion with a clear level of intelligence, and some of which said things like this....

Here's the thing. I am not an "overly-sensitive man-hating humorless cry-baby." I can get behind all sorts of music that may or may not be misogynistic. I am not offended by The Wolf of Wall Street. I liked Andrew Dice Clay in the 90s. I am okay with you talking about your dick. I think watching porn is healthy and normal. If you know me or have read this blog, you know that.


Dudes, I'm sorry, there is no way you can fully appreciate being on the receiving end of this- much like I cannot know what it's like to be discriminated against based on the color of my skin or my sexual orientation. 

Normally, I go through my days not saying anything about it. I ignore the emails that call me a whore for talking about sex, or the ones that say I should have overdosed when I was a junkie, or that I'm ugly and boring because I'm a female on the internet. 

And some friends think I shouldn't put any of this out there- that I'm asking for trouble by sharing thoughts and opinions in a public way, and I shouldn't be surprised by the reaction. 

I also appreciate that men can be on the receiving end of nasty words, discrimination, and it can be hard to have a rational discussion with a woman about a subject that is highly emotional. 

I want to hear everyone's opinions- but I don't think we have to sink to ripping apart someone's appearance, even if they put it out there. I don't think it's necessary to call me a "chubby-chaser lesbo" (But if I was, so what?) or suggest I want or deserve to get raped. 

Sometimes I want to be funny, sometimes I want to be crass, sometimes I want to state my opinion, sometimes I want to share the ugliest parts of myself, sometimes I want to do it all because I can, because it's my right, and because we still have a ways to go.

But, I will shut up about this subject, for now. 


Anonymous said...

what can i say, people are lame. but, maybe you need to reconsider how you said what you said. maybe it came across differently than you intended.

Anonymous said...

You're ignoring the fact that maybe things become sexual because Lena Dunham spends half her time exposing her self on television. If you're gonna put it out there, expect people to critique it. Just sayin

Anonymous said...

I think you did a great job of making your point, with eloquence and diplomacy. Haters gonna hate.