Tuesday, September 9, 2014

The Morning Misses You

The past couple of days, I've had the pleasure(?)/privilege(?) of watching the sunrise...not in a fun/NYFW/I've been up all night dancing on tables with questionable companions sort of way, but more like a waking up at 4 or 5 (AM, duh) to start thinking about-

nothing in particular. 

I'm not stressed. Overall, I'm happy and life is way better than I thought it would be. So, what gives? At 4:30 this morning, I sat there in my bed, watching old Felicity episodes on Hulu (don't ask, I don't know) and felt like I did when I was 14 and couldn't sleep and imagined I was the only person on Earth that was awake. 

I mean, I mostly feel like an adult now. Yes, it took me long enough. 

As you may (or may not) know, I have a child, an 11-year-old. Yes, I know, it's hard for me to believe, too. Lately, he's been asking me how old I feel. My pat answer is, "anywhere from 13-80." And, while I clearly spit that out without giving it too much thought, it's actually pretty accurate. 

Maybe that's the thing about being adult that takes (MANY) years to figure out, that you never feel any one particular age, that age is sort of irrelevant, that growth and maturity don't necessarily come with age, but they definitely shift with experience. So, it's probably normal to feel these things at 4:30 AM, when you're WAY past the age of 14. Or maybe it was the Harvest Moon. Or maybe it's just me. 

Really, I just want to go back to bed and listen to this. 

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