Y’all ready for this?
Erin: Hey LisaLisa, how’s your October going?
Lisa: slow and steady wins the race, erin.
Erin: OK then! Let’s answer these questions, because we’ve got a couple long ones.
Lisa: ok bitch, let’s get to it.
Lisa: um, okay, um, okay, OMG. a budding/new relationship is hard no matter what, but sister, you met this guy on okstupid, he lives across an ocean, and he’s pulling back a bit. i’m sure he’s cute and educated and all that, but seriously, can’t you find someone in your own zip code to obsess over?
Erin: I am so exhausted by your weird cyber relationship/non-relationship, I barely have the strength to answer these questions. Yes, you are wasting your time. Yes, there are many red flags. I have no idea if he is “cheating” or writing erotica to other women he has met online. It’s irrelevant why he’s acting the way he is acting. But, girlfriend, please date in the real world, and move on from your pen pal.
Lisa: YOU DON’T KNOW THIS PERSON! YOU’VE NEVER MET HIM! HE IS A FANTASY. if he actually comes to see you, great. in the meantime, focus on something other than a “relationship” that isn’t real.
Erin: Lastly, I will never understand the correlation you made in this sentence: “I've sensed another change in him lately like he's been a little more sensitive and even accused me of making fun of him when sick and he offered to buy me music although international tax isn't cheap.” Good luck!
Erin: First of all, you yourself are pretty damn judge-y of your friends. You paint a pretty bleak picture of both of them. Maybe to your “rich friend” you act or dress “white trash.” And maybe, to your “poor friend” you act like a “rich gal.” They both sound awful according to your descriptions, so either they really are and you should get new friends or you are a judgmental bitch. I have friends from all socioeconomic backgrounds and I don’t really think about it. I have friends that are into different things than I am, and I guess I never relate it to how they grew up or how much money they have.
Lisa: wow, do you ever hang out with them together? now that would be some jerry springer shit. i grew up in the deep south, so i understand the poor people no teeth thing. i also understand the rich people scenario and i have several gucci purses. anyway, you can be friends with whomever you want, no matter what their socioeconomic status, but what are you actually gaining by being friends with them? if you feel like “crap” it’s a sign that something’s not right. maybe you’ve just outgrown both of them? pull the hard fade with both these bitches and find new friends with people who are more on your level.
Erin: I’m still trying to figure out if Jerry Springer is still on the air…
Lisa: tell her what? that her new husband is a skank-ass motherfucker? no, stay out of it.
Erin: I agree. Stay out of this mess. And stop all contact, including intimate contact. They deserve each other, assuming she knew he was with someone else when they first hooked up.
Phew, we did it. Another round of questions in the bag. Don’t shoot the messengers! If you have a question for us, use the form on the top right of the page. We will answer all questions (eventually) and with (some) care. As always, your anonymity is golden.